You may have noticed by now that my reviews are very overwhelmingly positive. This is, of course, because this is my pull we’re talking about here, so why would I be keeping any bad comics in it, unless I was perhaps not reviewing them to hide my shameful secret? That would be absurd, of course, and completely unlike me. Completely.

 

Hellboy and the B.P.R.D. 1952 #1– Dark Horse

I’ve been a Hellboy fan for years, but I hadn’t added Hellboy to my pull until recently, largely due to the sheer amount of Hellboy their was. (I couldn’t afford that). Then, a couple of months ago at Rose City Comic Con, I won the complete collection of Hellboy Library editions. So…  yeah, I immediately jumped on adding it to my pull then. The same issue remains for anyone else wanting to buy Hellboy. Hellboy and the B.P.R.D is a side series meant to explore Hellboy’s early days with the paranormal government agency. So far… well, it’s up to a slow start. That’s not a bad thing with Hellboy, though. It’s a traditionally slow burning, or at least unusually paced series. Alex Maleev’s art isn’t quite up to the standards of Mike Mignola’s, but then, whose is? It’s still excellent art in its own respect. This seems like a decent starting point for a new reader wanting something for their pull, though I still think you should start from the beginning.

Five Ghosts #14– Image

This isn’t a bad issue, but I’m used to a much faster pace from Five Ghosts. Getting to see Van Helsing is cool, but the promised fight between him and Fabian Gray (possessed by the ghost of Dracula) (if you’re unfamiliar with the series, Fabian is a pulp action treasure hunter with the ability to channel the spirits of Dracula, Merlin, Miyamoto Musashi, Robin Hood, and Sherlock Holmes, hence the title,) doesn’t actually even start until the very end. Slow is pretty relative, too- Fabian and Van Helsing still kill dozens of ghoul-things throughout the book. The art remains as awesome and pulpy as ever, and Five Ghosts remains one of the absolute coolest books in my pull.

Deadpool #38– Marvel

Curse you, Sixis. I love Marvel, but I’m not a fan of their constant crossover events, and this one… well. Hurry up, Deadpool.

What? There’s not much to say. “Oh, no, Deadpool has to save the cancer-ridden North Korean clones of the X-Men from the X-Men, who have turned evil, thanks to Sixis, but Deadpool can’t fight the evil X-Men, since Sixis turned him into a pacifist, and they lock them in the Danger Room, which is trying to kill them, and why the hell do the X-Men even have a Danger Room anymore, literally all it ever does is try to murder people, oh, and absolutely no resolution is made on Deadpool’s family drama, and why the hell does evil Nightcrawler wear a monocle, that’s totally unneccessary, and…” Well, okay, I guess I had a little to say, in a sleep deprived stream of consciousness fashion.

 

God Hates Astronauts #4– Image

God Hates Astronauts is disjointed, insane, and reads like a cross between Axe Cop, Dirty Harry, and Friedrich Nietzsche on Ritalin. The comic follows a team of superheroes led by a man who has replaced his head with the head of a ghost cow that looks suspiciously horselike who kill redneck astronauts to keep them from launching their crappy space rockets, to prevent war with the Crab Empire, led by Emperor Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger. ..Honestly, this series is just too weird to explain easily. Just go read it. (Quick note: This is where I wandered to bed, so my sentences should get a bit less run-on from here on out.) God Hates Astronauts is also one of the only comics where the back cover is one of my favorite parts of the book. Actually, that sounds kind of bad. What I meant to say is: The back covers feature bizarre, hilarious made up blurbs that tell a story of their own.

Chew #45– Image

Holy hell. I don’t even… wow. The past couple issues of Chew have really shifted the comic in a new direction. It really feels like it’s starting to move towards the endgame now. Chew is consistently one of my two or three favorite comics, but now they’re determined to rip the rug out from under the characters, put them in a whole new ball game, and generally wildly mix metaphors.

Honestly, this is kinda just one of those situations where I want to go on and on about the amazing happenings in a book, but can’t, due to massive spoilers. MASSIVE. Seriously, seriously did not see that coming.  And, as always, the art is great. Of course, I can’t honestly think of a single issue Rob Guillory has let the ball down on- the dude is a machine. Hell, so is John Layman. The poster the issue comes with is pretty nice, too. It fits on like an extra cover, and is very easy to remove. I put it in my cubicle, along with my ODY-C poster and eight or so houseplants. Also, it solves an issue I have with many double sided posters- rather than having to choose which image I want to show, which I’m always really indecisive about, it instead has the same image on either side- one just has CHEW and the price and such on it along with the image, the other just has the image. For some reason, I chose the side with the price. No idea why. The issue was really good, though, even though I’ve spent just as much time talking about the bonus poster.