I’d write a romance film. No, seriously, hear me out. Pretty typical story: teacher meets industrialist, couple falls in love, their lifestyles conflict and they fall apart, they eventually come back together again, have a touching reunion at an outdoor restaurant, truck crashes into restaurant, killing dozens, including the industrialist, cue Yakety Sax as rescue workers frantically try to save the survivors, teacher left crippled and burned in wheelchair, struggles with sense of loss, blows brain out in front of fourth grade class. End Yakety Sax.

Nothing too unusual. And don’t worry, I’m not a horrible person, I’d make sure that the ending would be a surprise for all the romance fans out there. No advance reviews, no script leaks.